The Weight of Desperation

There are inevitably moments and seasons of life that leave you in a state of what feels like survival. The world has reaped chaos around you, and it seems like a never-ending spiral downward. You ask yourself, "When will I be out of this rut?" and "When will things go my way again?"

You fight each day to make your situation better, yet it only seems to be getting worse. It's at these moments that you find yourself in desperation. You wake up, brew a pot of coffee, and pray that something will shift today.

Desperation can feel like hundreds of pounds are sitting on your chest with no one near to help get it off. The reality is this: we live in a broken world and will inevitably feel the weight of our fallen nature. Yet despite this gut-wrenching reality, there is hope in desperation: His name is Jesus.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." — Matthew 11:28

Read that again and focus on each word. Come to ME and I WILL give you rest.

Jesus invites you and me to take all of our worries, cares, and burdens, and lay them before his feet in whole surrender. This means no holding on to what happens today, tomorrow, or in the distant future. It's recognition that He IS the only One who can see you through this heavy desperation you've been facing. He IS the only One in control of what happens.

A few months ago, I found myself in a time of desperation. I would wake up in the mornings and be so mentally, emotionally, and physically drained that I could barely focus while praying. I knew there were many things to pray for, yet I could barely get past the first five minutes. Transparently, I began to compare myself to others who I thought had stronger prayer lives. I wanted to be as on fire for God as I was in the past, yet I couldn't find the strength to do it. I would pray things like, "God, please help me be on fire for You again. I don't know what to do anymore. I keep trying, but I can't do it."

This is where God met me.

In the verse above, Jesus says, "Come to me and I will give you rest." For whatever reason, we have this idea that we have to constantly be soldiers on the front lines of our faith, pushing through whatever season life finds us in. Moments of tiredness are seen as weak and something that needs to be pushed through. Yet the invitation Jesus gives us is to embrace our weaknesses and trust in His strength.

As weeks passed and my prayer remained the same, I felt the Love of the Father lavish my heart with comfort and peace. What I assumed to be a vice of weakness was actually the thing bringing me into whole surrender before Him. The truth was, my fire for Him wasn't gone—I still longed for the heart of the Father. I craved intimate time with Him each day. I put my best foot forward each day. So why did I feel desperate and lost?

I came to understand that seasons change and the burdens we're entrusted with vary. What I was experiencing was an increased burden for those around me to find and follow Jesus. The reality of our broken world and busy schedules was a real weight on my shoulders, but it was the very thing God trusted me to steward. So, day by day, I laid that burden at His feet and prayed, "God, what is your vision for my life?"

Proverbs 29:18a reminds us that "Where there is no vision, the people perish."

I challenge you to ask yourself this: "Do I truly know the vision God has for this season of my life?" Maybe you've found yourself in desperation because God is ready to reveal a new vision for this season. The things you're discouraged about are the very things He wants to use as a catalyst for a fresh vision.

The truth for you and me is that we will experience moments of desperation, feeling like we're swimming in the mundane of day-to-day tasks. There will be moments when we feel like our faith is failing and that our prayers aren't as strong. Yet it's in these moments that God is inviting us to more. More of Him. More transparency in our prayer time. More raw and honest moments that we can't do this, and we desperately need Him. This shift in perspective changes our moments of worldly desperation into humble desperation for the King of Kings.

He's inviting you to lay it at His feet. Will you do it?